The Q is a brand new outdoor performance which will celebrate the great British Art of Queuing. So pre-eminent are we in this highly competitive field, that it sometimes seems like we’re the only ones taking part. 

But now, in the run up to 2012, there’s no room for complacency, and we know for a fact that we face strong competition from the Russians, increasingly from the Japanese, and there have been worrying reports of late surges from the Scandinavian countries (where their efficiency has, for many years, led to a near total absence of queues).

Talking Birds aims, therefore, to ensure that our position on the medal table remains unassailable. We know we British have the raw ability, it’s just a matter of having the BELIEF. Existing queues will be lavished with attention by our Queue Enhancement Team which will provide temporary seats, one minute stand-ins, and shelter from inclement weather, and, in the case of particularly elegant examples, a round of applause and possibly a fanfare.

Meanwhile, in the city centre, a team of crack queuing specialists will recreate Great British Queues of Our Time, demonstrate the Science of Queueology, present the thrilling yet heart-wrenching drama of Pushing In (and its terrible consequences), as well as imparting helpful tips such as How to Hold Your Place in the Queue and How to Queue Like A World Beater.

Together, we hope to maintain our dominance in this discipline so that, whatever happens in the Olympic Stadium, the world will look on us with envy and, maybe even awe, as we file, in an orderly way, out into the sunset.

  Taking place in locations around Coventry City Centre during London 2012 Open Weekend on Friday 22nd & Saturday 23rd July 2011, culminating in A Very Big Q on Saturday at 3pm in Millennium Place CV1 1JD.